Things have been going strange, for sure. I went on and then back off some new psychiatric medication (I mean, new to me), which knocked me off my game a bit. Things are starting to improve now that I am off it, but it’s definitely true that massive side effects caused more depression than the medication itself was solving.
I’m beginning to think I need to get out into the world more again, mostly just in lieu of other things, but it’s not like my creative blocks are occurring at any day job stuff, or collaboration stuff, that I am working on is taking up a large amount of my creative energies, in lieu of anything imaginative, but this may just be general burnout rather than uh, a persistent feeling of staticness and missing time due to not doing as much as I used to. Or at least, not as much with my physical bodies and eyes and whatnot.
It’s hard to call it ennui, because I deeply care about everything I do all the time, but it could be burnout, which is not something I’ve ever figured out how to solve. Vacations always make me anxious about planning and things (part of why my ideal vacation is GET IN CAR and DRIVE CAR IN DIRECTION), and I haven’t done this in years. My anxiety is such that I do have comfort zones, for sure, and I also just feel a massive anxiety about being as disconnected as that can make me.
It’s the flip side of feeling indispensible, is that you also feel massively responsible.
Probably it for me for today, will have some new book reviews and game reviews for next time. Love to all!